Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Have I missed something?

Have you ever felt as though you have passed a solstice in your life without realizing things have changed so much so abruptly?
Every day and every experience transform you into the person you are, and it continues without a stop until you expire. To some extent you chameleonize into something a little different time and time again.
For the first time in my life I am satisfied with who I am and confident in all my abilities.
I feel at my best.
I know who I am, I know my destination I'm just not completely sure of which trail I will be following, I hope it will be filled with excitement, adventure, friends and loved ones. Seasoned with some fresh and spicy unknown would be perfect.
Life don't make me bitter
Life don't make me weak
Have success
Be success
Live free
Live kindly
and gently
and bravely
and honestly
and symmetrically
and backwards
and forwards
Hold your head confidently
Respect others
Live as your choose
Peace out
or in....

Monday, December 15, 2008


'Lo and Behold. The frozen tundra scenery located in Free and Easy, Oregon.
It's uncomfortably cold. My thermometer reads 18 degrees Fahrenheit. The wind is blowing harshly. The small ice crystals zooming in the air feel like tiny sharp blades on the skin. My house is cold, no matter how high I crank up the wall heaters. Happy winter!

Sunday, December 14, 2008


Nocturnal state.
It's 02:34. Outside is absolutely beautiful. I keep peaking out looking at the fresh coating of snow on the ground. Every so large so puffs fall lightly to the ground in variations from light to heavy. I keep grabbing my coat to go outside and take it all in. Everything being so quiet and peaceful during the night hours makes me more and more prone to not sleep.

So peaceful
And dern my words, "It's just so friggin purty." (that's a mental quote :-P)

No activity in the park, just the snowing and the cold.
I wish I had my camera. The snow light is enough to capture images and store them away for future recollection.
Do we take pictures in attempt to freeze a moment and be able to hold onto it?

The winter season has finally officially arrived with the coming of snow to this quiet little city. The eagerness for the next several months to finally be happening again is driving me batty. It's time for friendly gatherings to come indoors, drinking hot sweet cider and dishing with my girls about petty things like how adorable celebrity babies are, reading Cosmo together and making fun of the latest sexual trends and them laughing their head's off about what they call my "goofy" selection of hats I have firmly glued to my head for the cold weather. It is a time for pure joy and merriment to overcome us and take life lightheartedly. I have a baby shower to help plan for my cousin soon as well. Things couldn't be more wonderful during this time of year.

I hope the holiday season will be spent happily with my family. Disputes either simmer down or escalate during Christmas time and we can never predict exactly what will happen. My typical redneck family. Beer, hard liquor beverages and prime rib make up the Christmas dinner on both sides of my family I love them.

It's also the time of year for SUPER SNOWBOARDING MADNESS!
Okay. That was a little over the top, but I am so excited for this coming season at the amazing Willamette Pass Ski Resort... WOO HOO.
My winter job. It's great. Free riding. Good times with friends. Making new ones working lifts. Finding the most ridiculous ways to pass the time while freezing our asses off. Shovel riding and racing is such a blast. Also the most forbidden fun thing you can do up their while working. Too fun to pass up.
There is also the snowmobiling during winter time. I better not start on that subject. Too much love.

A goal for this winter is to buy a pair of snowshoes. One trip I would like to make is to snowshoe into the Timpanogas Lake area and stay at the shelter there for a night. Then I would like to either spend a day up there exploring or snowshoe into Crescent Lake. Then back to the vehicle the following day. I do not know exactly how far the trip is and it would be all depending on how far up the road is clear to drive. It will be difficult to find someone to take this trip. I cannot go alone, not knowing what could happen and it being prime cougar territory makes me worry too much. Most of my lady friends don't appreciate such encounters with the outdoors and many of my male friends are much too busy to take a few days to make the small adventure. I can just hope and nag I suppose!

My cat is driving me absolutely insane. He just wants to play constantly. He wears me out playing and then keeps me up during my sleep time with his playing. Okay, so his name is Kitty. Very original. Could not find a suitable name. My roommate calls him psycho, tweak, attention whore and pain in the ass. His nicer nicknames that I have for him include: Kee, Kitten and "Oh my Gosh you little shit you did not just break that!" I also caught him drinking out of the toilet the other day even though he has plenty of clean fresh water. Hence the picture above. Kitty has a lot of strange habits, like washing his paws in his water dish, wrestling with my roommate's 3 year old daughter without biting or scratching and chasing his tail. Kitty full out chases his tail like some dogs do. No joke.

It's time for me to brew one last cup lovely decaffeinated Cascade Mint Tea, look outside once more and maybe fall asleep.

Goodnight, sleep comfortable.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

full moon

Tonight I took a drive up towards the lake. The color and light was fading away, like watching a painter make art in reverse. But instead of the art disappearing its a whole new view on the masterpiece. I took a lot of pictures and it was nearly completely dark when I began driving home. The moon hanging like a haloed glowing orb in the sky, the sight was beautiful and eerie. Much brighter than normal. I have never heard of this nor read it, but from what I've observed it becomes very cold on those nights. Returning to town was a complete disappointment... So at The Trailhead I be....eating a crepe.... and drinking orange juice. Feeling like a creature of habit.

Friday, December 5, 2008

little Japanese poems...

Pulchritude alone
Inquire within, find yourself
Perceive righteousness

Dance wind, dance faster
Flee, disaster disaster
Completely destroyed

Live benevolent
Together we change the world
Fulfill your one dream

Mania, no choice
Embrace, indulge to fullest
Take it, live it, breathe

Lunch Time!!

The Stud Muffin Amazing Lady Killah
The Babysitter. Photo by The Artist

The Artist.......

Miss Madison eating her lunch

"I love you pizza!" Miss Madison

Mister Nolan eating his lunch

"Cheeeeese!" Mister Nolan

Today I am taking care of my old roomate, and good friend's children. We just had a very messy, but fun lunch time. I love these little ones and miss them so much. It makes me so happy when they scream "MIR MIR!" when I come over to the house. They are the sweetest kids ever! I love them so much. While I'm writing this Nolan is hitting me with a soaking wet Spongebob beanie babie demanding I give the doll kisses... I give it a kiss and wipe my mouth when Nolan isn't looking. Madison is still intrigued by the corn on her plate and is spreading it across the table. A little artist who keeps shouting "Look wha done! Pretty!" Thank goodness she has lost interest in taking pictures with my phone it's all sticky and yuck. Haha back to taking care of the kiddos!

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Religion has only been an import aspect in my life once a very long time ago. Being lost and afraid it's easy to look to a higher power for truth and guidance. From what I have learned through experiences along the path is that there is no heavenly being that will show you the way. I would not describe myself as an atheist, however the one thing I believe to keep your soul traveling on it's journey is hope. You must have hope. Being true and being thankful for everything you have been blessed with is how I choose to live my journey. Friends of mine are so caught up in the stereotypical way of living and finding love that they have forgotten to be thankful for what they have acquired along the way. They may have scars burned very deeply into their spirit and they have become bitter along the way, but they have so many things to hope for and they don't even acknowledge it. They don't see the hope that is exploding from their children they have conceived with past lovers and just concentrate on how they have been done wrong. They are always so dramatic over the tiniest concepts and allow them to rule themselves mentally. Embrace your children. You may hate their father's/mother's but without the pain you have endured your children would not exist. Their soul's wouldn't be living and they wouldn't be able to have started a journey without the both of you. Have hope. You have so many other things to live for. Live for today and the hope of tomarrow. Look forward to the changing seasons and watching new life erupt. Be thankful for everyone you meet. They help shape you as a person. Absorb the light. Live for something purposeful. Create art so you and other's can enjoy the beauty of it. Help people, whether it may be good customer service, volunteering some time or maybe just simply being pleasant to the people you meet. If that doesn't tickle your fancy find something that does. Live for something meaningful. Touch a life. Do things you enjoy and keep company with good people you call your friends. If you cannot hope you are doomed to a lonely life you cannot even call your own. Don't let the pain and sorrow rule you. Choose your path. Make life everything you ever hoped it to be by changing your attitude. Hope tomarrow will come. Make it be yours. Live the dream.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Be it chilly outside

My Intro to EMS class got cancelled tonight. Many of my friends are still at work or have their children so I am out at the Trailhead eating a yummy crepe and enjoying some orange juice. It is very slow in here tonight, I am the only paying customer in here right now. The owner's young son just ran past my table hollering "SUPERMAN!" Jimi Hendrix is playing and the atmosphere is comfortable and relaxing. It is a little cooler in the corner by the window where I am sitting, But it is pleasant. I wonder if it will freeze tonight. The breath coming out of me has been visible all day. Snow would be nice. I would like the Pass to open up soon so I can work lifts and make a little cash. More importantly get in on the free snowboarding! There are blinking lights appearing all over the town, everyone getting ready for the holiday season... Oakridge is becoming a bit smoggy from wood stove smoke... Another nice person and her child are entering so I will be done with this and chat for awhile.